drugs and women, women and drugs
will drop you right down to the floor or else pull out the rug
how'd you get here? i heard bob ask doug
it's one thing or the other: women or drugs

thirty-five years straight and clean but holding for a friend
his ex-wife doesn't like it so he's back in jail again
a sixty year-old rasta with dreds down to the ground
had a bit of weed on him so it's off to the pound

drugs and women, women and drugs
will empty out that cup of cheer and land you in the jug
how'd you get here? i heard bob ask doug
it's one or the other, either women or drugs

a little kind old hindu with twelve kids from one spouse
had been in once before and been booted from his house
his wife called him back over, said that there were bills to pay
he asked her kindly for his ID now they've thrown the key away

drugs and women, women and drugs
lying in the gutter or snug as a bug
how'd you get here? i heard bob ask doug
it's that one thing or that other thing, either women or drugs

a young soft-spoken fellow, a clean-cut ladies man
dumped his gal on saturday, come monday in the can
as he was getting hauled away she ran up to his door
don't drag him off to jail! she cried, but that's what jails are for

drugs and women, women and drugs
put 'em in your pipe and smoke 'em, or offer them a hug
how'd you get here? i heard bob ask doug
well it was either that one thing or the other, women or drugs

forget about the gangsters, those kids that play with guns
the menace to society that needs to be undone
is guys who can't get on at times with gals or kids or wives
and fellas who need substances to get on with their lives

drugs and women, women and drugs
lying in the gutter, or snug as a bug
how'd you get here? i heard bob ask doug
well it had to be that one or the other thing, women or drugs

i know it's not much of a song, not even much of a poem
but i'm talking now to every man who doesn't need a home
my advice for all of you who can't leave 'em well enough alone
is get a lawyer's number (tattooed) on your arm and hope he's by the phone

drugs and women, women and drugs
put 'em in your pipe and smoke 'em, or offer them a hug
how'd you get here? i heard bob ask doug
it was that one thing or the other, women or drugs